A big part of any product manager's job is working with people. We dig in with clients to figure out their needs. We work with designers and engineers to figure out what we're making. We have endless meetings reporting on upcoming projects and on initiatives just released. We talk and persuade and convince.
But what if you are an introvert, like me? Don't worry. Introverts can not only be PMs, we can be amazing ones!
Disclaimer: I'm going to be making some generalizations about introverts here. They don't apply to every introvert in every situation on every day.
What really is an introvert?
We see a lot of social media posts these days claiming that introverts are shy, lacking in social graces, quiet, deep thinkers, and so much more. While some of those are undoubtedly true about some introverts, none of those are inherent characteristics of introversion. Being an introvert is all about our energy flow during social interactions. And when I'm talking about energy flow, I mean that spark that perks us up, gives us adrenalin, and makes us feel good.
When engaged in social activities, extroverts tend to gain energy and feel excited afterwards. In the same circumstances, introverts use up their energy and feel depleted afterwards. When extroverts are feeling stressed and looking to recharge, they tend to seek out people. Introverts tend to withdraw to be by themselves or with 1-2 very close friends. Some people think of this like a battery. Extroverts recharge their battery through people interactions; introverts drain their battery through people interactions.
To be clear, it's all a spectrum which runs from extreme introversion on one side to extreme extroversion on the other. All of us fit somewhere in between. To make it more complicated, this mental energy (or battery life) can vary from day to day, influenced by factors like our health, our optimism, our stress, the amount of sleep, how recently we've eaten, etc... This means that sometimes we might feel more introverted and other days feel more extroverted.
But for purposes of this article, when I talk about "introverts" as a group or "introverted" tendencies, I am generally referencing people who aren't hovering in the middle of the scale and show signs of both (typically called an ambivert). Instead, I'm talking about that group of people who fairly consistently on typical days feel like they need downtime to recharge their battery before they are ready to engage again.
For myself, I'm pretty far down the introversion side. That doesn't mean that I don't like people (I do). It doesn't mean that I enjoy the more social aspects of my career (I do). It doesn't mean that I'm not friendly (I usually am). It simply means that "peopling" wears me out mentally and I need to take some proactive steps to deal with that.
How can introversion be helpful to a PM?
Just because you're an introvert, it doesn't mean that product management is out of reach for you. In fact, we introverts in product can have several advantages over our more extroverted colleagues. We tend to:
Stay calm under pressure
Gather our thoughts before speaking, which in turn helps us be good listeners
Enjoy that quiet time when we are heads-down in our work
Thrive working remotely and independently
Use quiet alone-time to foster creativity and innovation
Be less impulsive, which means well thought-out plans and a reliance on data to back-up our assertions
Be great at collaboration because we encourage others to express their opinions
Be empathetic observers who can read the vibe of the room
Make good leaders because we listen, we ask questions, and we like to share the spotlight with our team
Tricks and Tips
Here are some tips that I have found help me as an introverted PM:
Make sure to focus on the conversation when others are talking. It can be easy to get caught up in your inner dialogue or even in rehearsing what you want to say next. This leads to forgetting to pay attention to what's going on around you.
For important meetings, make a list of talking points in advance. Rehearse your talking points, either out-loud or mentally, so you are prepared to be your most persuasive.
When you find you need to simply stop for a moment to gather your thoughts, ask for a pause in the conversation. If you need to do this, tell other folks, "Let me think about that for a moment." If you leave people hanging without making a comment first, they will have a tendency to mentally fill in the gap with their own internal dialogue and assumptions about what you are going to say, which may or may not be best for you and your objectives.
Add quiet time to your work calendar so you have time between meetings to take a deep breath and recharge. If you can, set aside an entire day each week for no meetings. I even like to make sure I add time for lunch to my calendar every day so I don't end up talking instead of eating. Consider adding a daily walk to your calendar, too.
Make your voice heard, especially during large meetings where it can be easy to melt into the background because there is so much going on. Never forget that you are a subject matter expert when it comes to your customers and your products; your knowledge is important to share with the group.
Don't forget to claim the credit when the credit is actually yours. It's okay to take center stage occasionally and talk up your accomplishments.
Embrace your tendency to strive for a good work-life balance, and encourage others around you to do it too. Self-care is critical both for happiness and high performance.
Whenever you can, practice good meeting etiquette to keep meetings short. Never call a meeting when an email or chat will do. Set meeting agendas in advance to keep everyone on track. Make sure meetings have defined goals so you know when you're done.
When you are having a hard time finding the energy to be front and center some days, treat meetings like acting. Sometimes, it can be easier to pretend to be "the well-spoken confidant professional who is knowledgeable and who is trying to persuade stakeholders" than it is to be yourself.
I'll leave my fellow introverts with one final thought. Embrace who you are! Spend time in introspection so you can focus on your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, and lots right with it. We often make the very best product managers and leaders, so as Polonius says in Hamlet, "this above all: to thine own self be true."
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